Come the Dawn

 Image

Dr Teeth opened up early. He liked the tranquility of the bay in the mornings.

Outside, the ferry docked quietly, spilling its light cargo of cars and the few tourists that came to the island. Voices rose from the street below, hushed in the heavy morning air.

He watched as light flooded the scene. Dawn crept slowly through the open window of the surgery, sliding over the sill and settling slowly into the chair like the first appointment of the day.

‘Hi Dawn, just a clean today?’ Dr Teeth liked her unusual entrance, his other patients used the door.

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27 Responses to Come the Dawn

  1. Horus says:

    Squirrel? Rat? Cat? it can be so many things… 🙂

  2. This is beautiful! ! ! The idea of sunlight slowly creeping across the room in the mornings is delightful. Great concept 🙂 and perfect name for the character!

  3. Sandra says:

    I was smiling already at Dr Teeth. Nice one.

  4. Very sweet story — nothing horrifying. Just … gentle and beautifully described.
    I would venture to suggest that he say nothing to Dawn. He could just smile at her and think that last thought. The last sentence with a comma splice could be split into two sentences. Or, perhaps, you could make it a sentence with a dash, fulfilling the need to separate the two parts of the thought.

    • Hello Dreamer of Dreams, thank you for the kind words. It’s great to have constructive comments.
      The thing is, I used the speech to break the picture and descriptive text. Also, it helps establish Dawn as a person (or a squirrel, eh Horus 😉 rather than the coming day.

  5. Beautifully written. So much peace in this tale.

  6. Lovely descriptive story that makes Dawn a character. Well written with gentle humor. 🙂 —Susan

  7. Dear Kelly,

    I’ve read your story twice. After reading the comments and responses, I’m still trying to figure out if Dawn is someone supernatural, a lady friend or the light of dawn. Nice bit of writing in any case.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  8. Nice humorous take on the prompt. I think I was at school with someone like that too! Who needs doors when you can arrive through the window 🙂

  9. Ah. I read Dawn as just a metaphor for the new day.. that’s how I read it.. the first smiling patient of the day… but given the comments I would settle for a badger..

  10. elappleby says:

    Very very, very funny. I’m not sure if the other commenters are all on something, or if it’s me that’s missed the point but I’m pretty sure it’s not me. Dawn is a lady (who likes to come in through the window), and you are a comedian. Thanks for the massive laugh 😀

    • Why thank you! You must be on my wave length because despite leaving it deliberately open to interpretation, Dawn is a girl in my head. Putting her name at the beginning of the sentence meant that I could capitalise the ‘D’ therefore leading the reader down both paths.

      • elappleby says:

        Sorry, had to pop back because I’ve been thinking about why some people just didn’t get this when, as far as I’m concerned, it’s obviously funny. I think it may only work for people who spell humour with a ‘u’? I’ve been reading up on this lately, and you may have come up with a bit of a litmus test here.

      • Entirely possible I suppose. Then again, I do try to spell words correctly. Sometimes though I’ll tip the nod to our Canadian and American friends.

  11. So you have imaginary friends! Thought of speaking to someone about this? But I loved the metaphor interpretation as well. Fun bit of writing.

  12. MM Jaye says:

    Beautifully rendered! Really enjoyed this one!

    Greetings from Greece!
    Maria (MM Jaye)

  13. hugmamma says:

    Lovely, lovely fairy tale of sorts…

  14. hafong says:

    Oh, I like your take – dawn coming thru the window!

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